GABBA GABBA HAAAAY

Watching the American Music Awards last night aka AMA's was more like watching a gathering of mutts at a luncheon for American Maltese Association. Actually, seeing the pooches would have been much more enjoyable. We don't know why we get dooped time and time again, but whenever there's an awards show we somehow manage to...dare we say, get excited for it, and then like clockwork we're let down like whiskey dick on prom night.

Is it too much to ask for that these so called musicians should actually sing, dance and entertain us?! We'd rather watch Trump get in and out of a heli all day and see that coif flip up and down, cause that shit's got more body and rhythm than half these musical fucktards!!

So who was the nutburger who thought it would be a good idea to let Aguilera perform a 7 song medley of her chop shop tunes?? Her performance was about as stimulating as watching the Paris Hilton sex tape. Oy, and that do! It looked like she let her baby chop em up with safe for kids crayola scissors. And what the spunk was with her singing? Is it us, or did it sound extra froggy last night? Like a genie's cock was trying to escape her esophagus?

Another ass crumb that made the night's festivities more like a night of feces is Kranky Kanye. This wigger needs to take a step back. We can't believe he actually said that with the current musical talent that's out there today, they have the ability to bring music to the level that Zeppelin and Hendrix did. Ummm homehonky, it ain't happening, when you have bands like Nickleback and Disturbed tearin up the charts! Honestly, we'd love to butt fuck Kanye with a Billboard Magazine and make him scream through the wire! PS- Elvis is the King for a reason, and your hipster ass will never hold a candle or a pork chop sideburn to his legacy.

We can't forget to wish Miley a very happy, very herpies filled Super Sweet Sixteen! Here's to losing your virginity and catching an STD at the AMA's. We know she let a New Kid put it in her honky tonk badonka donk!

Here is quick critique of the last nights live acts:
Christina Aguilera = Vomit
P!nk = !nd!go
NKOTB = To Catch A Predator
Coldplay = Talentless Cameltoes in Musical Catsuits
Taylor Swift = LOL
Jonas Brothers = Virgins
Rihanna = The Real Sasha Fierce
Annie Lennox = Jesus
Mariah Carey = Scary Caterpiller
Kanye West = Mosquito Bite
Sarah McLachlan = Lilith Fairy
Natasha Bedingfield = Yuck
Ne-Y0 = Matrix
Beyonce = Damita Jo
Miley Cyrus = Apple Sauce
The Fray = Shred
Leona Lewis = Mariah
Alicia Keys = Dyke
Pussycat Dolls = Bratz Dolls

And we've picked 12 of these fartists songs which we think would have been more entertaining at Cookies N' Flutes night.



Caca Deluxe With Fries Mix:
1. Reflection - Christina Aguilera
2. I Can't Take No More - Beyonce
3. Butterfly - Mariah
4. Swallowed In The Sea - Coldplay
5. Old Blue Jeans - Miley Cyrus
6. Over My Head - The Fray
7. Burning Up - Jonas Bros
8. Single - NKOTB
9. Footprints In The Sand - Leona Lewis
10. When I Grow Up - Pussycat Dolls
11. Teardrops On My Guitar - Taylor Swift
12. The Good Life - Kanye West

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