GABBA GABBA HAAAAY

Picked, Sliced and Squeezed. The Trials and Tribulations of the Citrus-y Ex Athlete, OJ Simpson. That's the working title of the made for TV movie about Shady Simpson and his jacked up life.

Can anyone out there tell us why in flippy fuck this man was even allowed to roam free in the first place? We're not going to rehash 1995 ya'll, but just know that what goes around comes around and if you think you can beat the system, youz dead wrong! It's like that riveting, barrier breaking epic film Final Destination showed us, once you've been marked, yo shit is up.

You Do Not Pass Go. You Do Not Collect $200.
Sorry for that little monopoly outburst...It's a Milton Bradley kinda of day...

Anysquirt, Shady Simpson's done punched his last time card and is finally getting the punishment he deserve, although it's for a different crime. This guilty mothaf-er was arrested in Vegas for thieving in the night, like some common arse thug. The best was that he was caught trying to steal back some crappy ass sports memorabilia of himself which he claimed was stolen from him.

Priceless audio was captured from that fateful night in Vegas, which was submitted and played in court. Shady Simpson was recorded saying

"I'm O.J. Simpson. How am I going to think that I'm going to rob somebody and get away with it? Besides, I thought what happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas"

You know who should have a reality show? This juggernaut! Quotes like that, would really rock the ratings, and blow shows like Hogan Knows Best out of the water.
But we think it's best that this thumbalina turd nugget rot behind bars and the jury has also agreed. By giving him 13 years in the pen, maybe Bonkers McGinty can find Jesus and write his memoirs.


So after Shady Simpson was brought to his holding cell he was heard winding and grinding the jail bars to this shady soundtrack:



What Happens in Vegas DOESN'T Stay In Vegas Mix:
1. Las Vegas With the Lights Out - Geggy Tah
2. Locked Up - Akon
3. Better Luck Next Time - Oingo Boingo
4. It Sucks To Be You - Quiet Riot
5. It Aint A Crime- House of Pain
6. O.P.P. -Naughty By Nature
7. Rhymin & Stealin - The Beastie Boys
8. Guilty - Lou Reed
9. Shame On a N*gga - Wu-Tang Clan
10. Memorabilia - Soft Cell
11. Been Caught Stealing - Jane's Addiction
12. The Boy Done Wrong Again - Belle & Sebastian

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