GABBA GABBA HAAAAY

When it was announced last year that Thor Equities was buying Astroland Park in Coney Island, NY we thought fuck yeah Thor is the gay king. He was gonna strike that hot long Mjoinir, his hammer dummy, and bareback the place up a little. Adorn the boardwalk with tiny shiny silver helmets with wings and making red capes mandatory on the cyclone. But it really was "Whore" Equities who put a condom on that shit.

Whore Equities bought the funnel cake loving wonderland for $30 million gold bricks. You mean to tell us that the memories of people getting pregnant on the boardwalk and smoking doobies on the Wonder Wheel is worth $30 million?!?! We are offended. Couldn't they get like the fucking Jonas Brothers to perform a benefit or something? Those little fags are huge! Actually we would have to get the big guns like Sonic Youth, Talking Heads, Lou Reed, Blondie and a single Ramone to have raised money to buy it back for the people.

And just because we will still be able to get sick on the Cyclone and the Wonder Wheel it's just sucks merman balls to even write this post.It's even harder to listen to our mix but let's all remember just like fuck buddies always come to an end so do our favorite amusement parks. MMM Ciao ohh sweet Astroland.





"Save Ferris You Wench " Mix
1. Amusement Park - 50 Cent
2. Freakshow - Britney Spears
3. Castles Made Of Sand - Jimi Hendrix
4. Under The Boardwalk - The Drifters
5. Rollercoaster - Ohio Players
6. Coney Island - Death Cab For Cutie
7. I Will Always Love You - Dolly Parton
8. End Of An Era - Sick Of It All
9. Carnival - Natalie Merchant
10. Closing Time - Semisonic
11. Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) - Green Day
12. Thanks For The Memories - Bob Hope
Bonus Track
13. Miss You Like Crazy - Natalie Cole

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